Being a people pleaser isn’t an easy job. You are doing what is best for others without your own wellbeing even crossing your mind. You are afraid to hurt people, so you do what is best for others rather than for yourself.
Although I have spent my whole life living for others, I am now beginning to live for myself. One of my friends, Allison, recently told me something that really struck a chord in me when I was going through a rough time. She said, “keep who you want to be as your highest priority”, and that’s when it really hit me. I wasn’t my top priority. Instead, everyone around me was.
I was so conflicted at this point in my life. Do I follow my path and do what is best for me, or do I just let others be happy and pretend I am just as happy as them? But I realized if I was going to become my highest priority, I would have to do what in my subconscious I knew I wanted to do from the beginning and let other’s feelings be second to my own.
I have spent too much of my life so far holding everyone else’s emotions in my hands, and I am ready to let go. I had been holding onto everyone’s hope for a future that was inevitably never going to come. Holding onto joy which I provided and was drained from me, then in the end I had none of my own left anymore. I held sadness, which caused me to evoke the same emotion the person was feeling, which made me feel responsible for it all.
But I realized none of this was on me. You cannot control other people’s emotions solely your own. I came to a point where holding these emotions drained me, physically, spiritually, and emotionally. The time came for me to let everyone’s feelings go, because they were not doing me any good.
And now, I can confidently say I am beginning to live for myself. I am making choices that benefit me and only me. I don’t have to weigh how people will react to my decisions anymore. I am living my life for me now, and my view is completely clear.
So, to the girl who is beginning to live for herself, let go of everything holding you back. Take back what is rightfully yours and live your life fully in love with yourself. Steer clear of people who will make the vision of your future unclear, do everything for you no matter how selfish it may seem. Surround yourself with people like Allison who lead you on the path that is best for you. You are your own individual and it is time you start acting like it.