Relationships end and we all know it, and sometimes some hurt more than others. After the pain and heartache have subsided, you are able to look deeper in the pain and see how you are able to grow from the heartbreak.

Breakups are one of the worst things one can ever experience. You are being told or telling someone you love so much that you don’t see things working out. Either way, it crushes you. If you are the one breaking things off, it hurts just as much as if you are the one being broken up with. Trust me, I know, I’ve been on both sides.

I was sitting in the car the other day with my friend Allison, and she said she has learned so many lessons from her exes, even though they had hurt her. She turned to me and asked if I had as well, and I couldn’t even talk about it. I hurt so much from my past relationship, that just the thought of bringing it up made me want to cry.

People hurt you, and it’s just a simple fact of life, but it isn’t something that is easy to stomach. When you spend so much time with someone and truly love them, it is devastating when it comes to an end. Not all relationships are going to work out, not every one of them has a fairy tale ending.

 And I am coming to terms with that. Yes, there are days when I see something that reminds me of him and I bawl my eyes out, but that is life. When I was talking through it, one of my guy friends told me that it was okay to sit in the pain, and that hit me like a truck. I am not the type to sit and wallow. I want to push it behind me and move on, but that’s not how it always works out. So, I allow myself to sit in the pain when I am feeling sad, and sometimes it sucks. I cry and cry and feel like there is no hope. But I know that God had placed me in that relationship for a reason and that is what I hold onto.

I am able to hold onto the hope that God knows what lays ahead in my future. Even if a storm comes, He calms the waves and never leaves my side. So, I sit and stay in the pain, and slowly I am learning to grow from it. I believe I am becoming thankful for my exes because without them, I wouldn’t have become who I am meant to be.

So, to the girl who isn’t so thankful for her exes… learn to be. Sit in the pain, cry, let your emotions take over. Take time for yourself, to learn how to flourish on your own. Know that no matter how much heartache you may be feeling, there is a purpose in each season, you may just have to dig a little to figure this one out. There are so many things I have learned from previous exes, and I am ready to unpack what God is trying to give me through this past one.