If you would even in the slightest bit characterize yourself as someone who is type A in any capacity, I think this week is really going to resonate with you. I have always strived to be the best sister, friend, daughter, coworker, cheerleader, and light for others around me. From a very young age, I knew I wanted to be the best in every sense of the word. I wanted to make the most money, have the most prestige, and do everything I possibly could in the best way I knew how. And yes, while my sights have been slightly shifted, I am still always striving for more.
I think I have this problem in which I cannot be content in the space I am in. I am always yearning for the next thing. Once I check something off my list, my immediate thought is what is the next thing and how can I accomplish it? And it’s not that I’m not proud of myself for getting to a certain place, but it is more the fact that I never want to stop. I have an eagerness to learn, grow, and continually make myself better. I am not one to sit around and not do anything. I thrive off my schedule being booked back to back, spending time with others, experiencing new things, and soaking up every single moment. In every single sense of the word, I have always wanted to do it all.
For example, I pushed myself in college to be the best I could be academically and personally, while also working towards an early graduation to move onto the real world in which I would inevitably experience the bigger and better. I thought everyone had the same mindset as me coming into college. I assumed everyone wanted to push themselves to their limits, taking 19 hours a semester, making friends, finding their place in their respective organizations, and planning for what the future post-college would bring. However, I began to realize this wasn’t everyone’s philosophy. I soon found that some people didn’t attend college because they wanted to have every single job opportunity at their fingertips and everything that came with that. Some only did it because they were pressured by family members. And even if some did want to have those opportunities, they hated every moment of the four years that would lead them there.
As I explained last week, I love to learn. I love to push myself to absorb as much new information as possible to create me into a well-rounded human. So, it would only seem to make sense that pushing myself in an academic setting wouldn’t be anything out of my ordinary. However, only after pushing myself to complete my degree and graduate early did I begin to actually think about the “benefits” of doing so. Was it a flex that I graduated in 3 and a half years? Of course. Did I have any job opportunity I would want available to me, probably so. But we are also in a time where companies are begging people to come work, so it really is an applicant’s dream land right now. I hit a point however where I began to ask myself what is was all for? Why did I push myself so hard for a life I was going to have for the foreseeable future?
And I now realize those thoughts were all comprised of panic and anxiety for what laid ahead. I was so anxious to begin my job and to start a career I could realistically have for the next decade or two. But, life is always full of scary choices, but where would we be without taking those risks.
Even now, I still want more. Not more in the sense of I want to pick up a second job. But, more in the sense that I want more time in the day. There is so much in the everyday activities that I want to accomplish, yet there never seems like enough time. I want to read my book, catch up on tv shows, do quiet time, hang out with friends, work on content, stroll through Target, and all the other things I have on my to-do list but that isn’t always possible.
Even though doing everything I want in one day is not achievable, I know my goals are still obtainable. I just have to go about achieving them in different ways than I am used to. My agenda has become my best friend, if it isn’t in my calendar, it will not be getting done. I know I have a passions in life, so finding time to put them at the top of my list is difficult sometimes. Especially being 22 and balancing adjusting to adult life on top of that. But I also know my capabilities. I know that when I put my mind to something, I am going to do it and do it well.
So, to the girl who wants to do it all, it is truly all about balance. I am not saying your goals, wants, dreams, and desires are not achievable, but they will take time and work. So as long as you are willing to put in the effort, you can accomplish anything you will ever put your mind to. Never stop setting goals for yourself, you continue to be that force to be reckoned with. I believe our brains and our hearts are our most powerful muscles, if we use them together to guide us through our daily lives, there isn’t anything we cannot do.