To the girl who is leaning in

Is there really any way to truly know if the choice you are making is the best one? I’d probably argue that there isn’t one way of really knowing if the choice you make is going to be what is the best. However, I think within the aftereffects of that decision is where you find your answer.

This year, one of my words that is guiding me is “forge”. I want to continue to forge a new, intentional path each day as I figure out exactly who I am called to be in a post-pandemic, individualistic, technology driven time. Did I also mention I am 22 years old? On top of all of societal and worldly norms, I’m now navigating post-grad life.

This can be a lot to handle and try to unpack, and I’ll be the first to say I have spent countless nights on the couch with my mom or in coffee shops with friends talking through what this season of life is supposed to look like. It’s an overwhelming time for sure, and since I graduated, I kept having this feeling of being called to more, a sense of more than where I am at the moment. However, while I would love to make a rash decision and pack life up and move somewhere new and just figure it out, that is not my personality. I am not one for quick decisions, I need a well thought out plan before I will say yes to doing something. So, if you take my Type A personality and add in a post-grad bank account, while the idea of moving and starting over sounds fun, it is not the most rational idea.

After a lot of thought and coming to the conclusion that where I am in this season is probably the best place for me, at lease for the short-term, I realized I needed to be okay with that decision. I think everyone can relate in some capacity to the fact that it is hard when you are content in where you are but knowing there may be better out there. 

My challenge was now learning how to be content in where I am at the moment. Do I eventually want my city life and sense of spontaneity back? Of course, but realistically that is a while off. Therefore, it is important for me to be happy in each day, in the ordinary, and find new ways to enjoy where I am.

When talking to my mom about this, I told her, “Although I know I eventually want something different, I need to be able to be joyful in the here and now. So, it’s time to lean into this season of life. It’s not fair to be pining over a life I want and disregarding the one I am in now.”

Practically, how am I leaning in? Am I leaning in? Both valid questions, because honestly this all sounds good in theory, but the change occurs when it is put into practice. I am building a community that I didn’t even know I needed. I have found a group of girls who encourage, empower, and love me unconditionally. I am becoming more engaged at my church, creating a more intentional sense of home. I am finding things to be grateful for in the everyday aspects of life. I am leaning into creating a new sense of home in the home I have known my whole life. 

So, to the girl who is leaning in, even just an acknowledgement is a huge step. Changes are never easy and leaning in to find joy within change is slightly uncomfortable (at least for me). But I can tell you, planting roots in the place I am in during this season is showing high profitability. Remember how we asked, how do you know if the choice you are making is the best one? Well, when I made the choice to be where I am today, I was nervous but with a confident yes I walked into this season. While it hasn’t been smooth sailing during every moment, the little unexpected miracles that have been placed in my life during this new season make every day 10x worth it. Hold onto hope, find who/what sparks joy, and lean in. Who knows, you just may end up actually loving every new morning.