If I had to describe myself in one word, it would probably self-dependent. I was raised learning that if you wanted to get something done right, you might as well do it yourself. As I continued to grow, I also learned you really can’t always be dependent on others, because not everyone always sticks around. Therefore, I became self-dependent.
Not only am I self-dependent, but I can tend to be a “yes man.” I mean, I’m not the type of person to stop when the people in the mall try to give me a sample, but if I am asked to pick someone up because their ride bailed, I feel obligated to say “yes”. I would call myself a people pleaser as well. And that isn’t always the greatest combination.
I sometimes forget how much I depend on myself to accomplish everything, especially when I come home exhausted and wondering why. I began to realize how much I really depended on myself when I broke my elbows.
When you have no mobility, you can do little to nothing. For example, I couldn’t feed myself for about a week. I couldn’t dress myself and I obviously couldn’t drive.
I hate to ask others to do things for me because I feel like I am burdening them. But, when you have no choice, you have to have others help you. I had to ask for a lot of help over the past month, from carrying beach bags to buckling me in the car. Along with having to ask people for help, I had to tell people “no” a lot, which was just as hard for me.
Through this whole broken arm experience, I learned the people who genuinely care for you will never make you seem like a burden. People are always willing to help you out in times of need. I have also learned it’s okay to have to turn people down and say “no” when you have to. It is hard to depend on people, especially when your anxiety makes you think you have to be in control.
So, to the girl who only knows self-dependence, it is good to let it go from time to time. It feels almost freeing to let people take over parts where you feel like you would not be able to control them anyway. It is also 100% okay to say “no” when you want to, because you are not obligated to say “yes” to anyone. And always remember, being self-dependent is never a bad thing, especially when you are crushing whatever you are doing.