To the girl who is genuinely doing well

I think this time in my life is a point where everything has slowed down, and I have been able to fully process my life and all I have experienced over the past year. Let’s be real, the pandemic was not easy for anyone. Along with a deadly virus circling our brains, we had to deal with the constant stressors of life as well.

Life for me during the pandemic was nothing less of a literal rollercoaster of emotions, and I think I am starting to understand everything that has happened over the past year, and why even some of the darkest parts still brought light.

So, let’s unpack the past year together. For me, having to move home for the remainder of my second semester last year wasn’t too detrimental. I have been blessed with an amazing family that was only ~slightly~ crazy about the pandemic. But, that season wasn’t too horrible for the most part. Returning to school in the fall was so exciting for me, I was about to move in with some of my closest friends from my sorority and I was so pumped for this new adventure. Little did I know that when I embarked, it was going to turn out being nothing like I thought it would. As a dove into my first week of classes and soon contracted COVID, I was shut out by those who I thought were supposed to be my biggest cheerleaders. Fall semester was really difficult, I felt like a ghost walking through my own home every day and spent hours in silence. While those four months were definitely some of the hardest moments I ever had to live through, there was light on the other side. And yes, it was more than tough to see the light when I was stuck in a feeling of perpetual darkness, but as I kept pushing each day, that light seemed to get a little brighter.

November rolls around and I move back home for winter break and became dedicated to putting myself first. I pulled myself out of the pit I was in and reminded myself of the boss b*tch I am. And while I didn’t know exactly what the future was going to hold for me, I knew that the Lord had bigger plans that I could ever imagine and all I could do was pray and wait for Him to show me that path. And one day it appeared, His message in the form of a text that I read as I cried on the sidewalk while shopping with my mom. He was delivering me from the darkness.

This spring was a season of life I could have never imagined. The pure joy and excited I found in each morning was something out of a movie. I was surrounded with women who loved me despite my flaws, I was finally part of a community that truly made me feel like home. There is a verse in the bible that is often used at weddings that says, “I have found the one with whom my soul loves” (Song of Solomon 3:4), and that is truly what I felt this past season of life. I have found the people and the places that I truly love and that truly love me. There is something about doing life with others who are on the same journey as you that is just so encouraging.

And even now, as I have moved out and am back at home until my next adventure begins, there is still something so peaceful about where I am right now. No, I am nowhere near perfection or knowing the answer to every question in my heart, but I am at a point where I am not worried about what tomorrow will bring, my heart is at peace and I am just taking each day as the blessing it is.

I think sometimes when life seems to be going well, it is easy to block out the One who brought you into that place. Sometimes it is only when everything seems to be going wrong do we want to turn to the Lord or others for help. But we should always be leaning on others in all aspects of life, through mourning and dancing, and in trials and successes.

So, to the girl who is genuinely doing well, give yourself a pat on the back. You deserve all the love and warmth you feel in this season of life. Take time to appreciate where you are as well as where you have been, because even in the darkest places can you find the light. And, if you aren’t doing well, know you aren’t alone because we all have points where the light seems impossible to see. But just know, there is something so beautiful to see and learn at the end of the hardship and the hurting. So stick it out a little bit longer, because you will be genuinely so surprised with how amazing life is if you trust the journey.