To the girl who is closing old doors

There is something so peaceful about taking the time you need to really work through and let go of the past, but this isn’t something that is going to happen in a heartbeat. It takes time, work, and usually some amount of forgiveness.

This past weekend, my pastor talked about how the past 18 months have been a lot, which for most of us is probably an understatement. He posed the question to us asking “What relationships are broken today after the past 18 months?” I know for me personally I had a few speed straight to the forefront of my mind. As he continued to preach about the division that we face, it was so easy to continue to view the people who have wronged us as less worthy of God’s love. But, then a part of me began to think two things. 1. What if there is someone feeling the same way about you that you feel about others after the past 18 months? And 2. If God can love us after all our wrongs, what gives us the authority to not love them?

So, as I sat there listening to the entirety of the sermon and after it ended, it really began to sink in that I have been holding onto the last 18 months instead of living in the here and now and hoping for what is to come. I think sometimes we get so caught up in the what if’s of what we wish we could change about the past that we completely overlook the things going on in our lives at the moment. It is easy to stay in the hurt and heartache even when the present may be brighter. Sometimes we may unconsciously throw ourselves pity parties, so we don’t have to actually accept what is happening in the present day. But, if we begin to live in the now, we may see all the beautiful things that are right in front of us. 

I know it is hard, trust me. I am writing this thinking to myself, if I was reading this I would say “Oh yeah, much easier said than done.” So I get it but let me pose this question to you before you start coming at me. What good is living in the past doing, what fruit is it really bringing? If you can provide a justified, logical, and most importantly an honest answer then go ahead and just exit out of this post because you don’t need me or any of my thoughts. But if you can’t, which I know I cannot provide an answer that is honest, then think about changing your mindset. Focus on the people in front of you, love unconditionally even the ones who hurt you, and forgive others and yourself for the wrongs done unto you. Just remember even though other people make mistakes, you aren’t perfect either. So give the same grace you grant yourself to those who wrong you too.

Forgiveness isn’t an easy topic at all, but the only way to move past the hurt is to forgive and to be genuine in your apologies and accepting them. The only way to close the old chapters is to finish the pages, so read those last verses, even reread them one more time and turn the page. You cannot grow by staying in the same place as cliché as that sounds, and you will never be able to move on if you heart is still hardened towards others. But don’t worry, because you have at least one other person doing this with you (it’s me!!). 

So, to the girl who is closing old doors, take your time if you need it to look back one last time at the empty room you are leaving, accept the move, close the door and lock it tight, and head down the hallway to your next adventure. It isn’t an easy feat, and I am already so proud of you for the little steps you are taking to leave that room and move onto the next journey in your walk. There is no rush and even if you don’t want to admit it, there is something so refreshing of letting go of past hardships and being the most present you.