To the girl who had COVID… again

If the title couldn’t make it any more obvious, I did in fact get COVID again. There is something about getting it at its peak in 2020, everyone had it and it seemed like it was inevitable. But getting it in 2022, two years after the pandemic began, that’s a different story. It seems less common and honestly a little awkward. How did you make it this long and then one day you wake up with an itchy throat and next thing you know you test positive.

Don’t worry, I am doing much better and life is back to normal. Pretty much like nothing ever happened. I still worked from home, made meals, did laundry, and every other everyday activity. There wasn’t as much rest or downtime, life still felt hurried and like I couldn’t catch up to where I was supposed to be.

I felt disappointed with myself for having to work from home and putting my coworkers at risk. I regretted to tell my friends I couldn’t come on our camping trip. I answered zoom calls as if nothing was wrong when I was lying in bed exhausted, coughing and sneezing with killer headaches.

But the worst part of all wasn’t the physical toll the virus was taking on my body, instead it was that I was never once the subject of my thoughts. I rarely thought about my needing to rest, to tell people I needed a break, or saying “no” to tasks. I put extra stress on myself to continue to care for everyone else around me while I felt the ickiness filling me up. 

This round of COVID was absolutely nothing like the first and thank goodness for that. This second round has shown me how much the Lord has done in the past two years. He has delivered me from dark times I thought were inescapable. He brought light into my life in the form of some of the best friends I squeeze tight every chance I get. He reminded me that I have a family who will always do whatever is necessary to make me feel better physically and emotionally. He answered prayers I have been praying for years, I just had to wait to see the joy they brought.

This variant wasn’t filled with endless tears and the unbearable months that followed. This one was filled with a sickness encompassed by love, laughter, lots of tea, yellow flowers, and the comfort of knowing the ones who love you are always close by.

COVID affects people’s lives in different ways. Every time I thought about it up until now it was the most negative, dark, loneliest, and eye opening moments of my life thus far. Now, this round of COVID has shown me that light can come from the darkness, and that not every memory has to be a bad one. This round has been the warmth, the sense of forgiveness, and newness I think I have been needing without even knowing it.

So, to the girl who has COVID again, I am really sorry, again. It sucks and I pray you get through it without too many battle scars. If it seems like is brightness is never going to come back into your life, remember the sun is always going to shine in the morning. Each day is a brand new opportunity. Be grateful, even when it is hard. I promise there is purpose in your pain, you may just have to sit in it a little while longer. You’ve made it through once before, what’s one more time?