To the girl who is adjusting

I think as we all continue to grow and adapt, we will always be going through seasons of adjustment. Whether it be a move, a graduation, a job change, a breakup, or a leap of faith, every “big decision” involves some type of adjustment.

Adjustment can be difficult and unless you are able to find a Chicken Soup for the ___ Soul book for every season of life, a lot of the times it takes trial and error to feel comfortable. Personally, I am not the type of person who usually pushes myself to get outside my comfort zone and feel uncomfortable. But I also know that when I do get outside my comfort zone, I get to experience feelings and feel emotions I usually don’t. 

There are always pros and cons to every single choice we will make in life. If decisions were as easy as opting to follow the law and stop at a stop sign, we would probably never have a feeling of discomfort. However, life is never as easy as abiding by a law, and that’s where things get messy. Instead of subconsciously making choices, when it comes to those big decisions, we sit and ponder endless questions. 

What if this is a mistake? How do I know I’m making the right choice? What is the right decision? How much will this choice impact the rest of my life? How will this decision change other things in the everyday moments?

The questions can go on and on but if you tend to overanalyze, you might recognize some of those questions you may say or hear in your mind. The thing is we are never really going to know what exactly the right choice is. We make decisions based off what we think will lead us in the direction we want to go, or where we think we want to go. And it is scary! It is intimidating to think one choice you make at 22, 26, or every 45 will dictate where the course of your life can follow.

I am going to generalize and say that I don’t think many people love the idea of the unknown, the idea of what may come. There is something about the uncertainty that seems to make most people a little uneasy. I’m not completely sure if we don’t like it because we want to make the decisions that is the “proper” one. Or, if it is because we don’t like committing to things we aren’t 100% sure of for long periods of time. But how will we ever know if we don’t try?

Big decisions lead to seasons of adjustment. Adjustment is another aspect of accepting the discomfort. When we aren’t sure how a decision is going to affect our long-term, we are more likely to be unsure of the follow up. Every season produces different outcomes, just as different springs produce different flowers. But I believe that every season inevitably produces an outcome, it may just not be what we expect it to be. If every spring can bring flowers, even if some rain is involved, I truly believe something good will come out of each season of adjustment and change. 

I am writing this for myself as much as I am for you all. If I had to guess there isn’t a Chicken Soup book for the stage of life I am in, so trial and error here I come. As much as I love to believe I have it all figured out, I literally am nowhere close to that. I am constantly questioning what is next, where should I go from here, is this where I am supposed to be, and all the other questions that I wrote above. I am still adjusting, as life keeps continually changing I will continue to adjust over and over again. And I am learning that is okay.

So, to the girl who is adjusting, maybe it’s your turn to write a Chicken Soup book of your own. Maybe you can help those around you in the same boat as you. I mean, that is the point of “to the girl who…”. I just want to encourage all of us, including myself. I want everyone who reads this to know I am nowhere near an expert on any phase of life, but we can all mess up and figure it out together. Adjusting doesn’t need to be such a scary idea, maybe instead we start owning this season of life. Let’s begin welcoming in the uncomfortable, welcoming the adjustment and the big decisions. Every decision is just a choice and we make those every day, so why are we so scared of the “big” ones?